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about

Last year was a... how do you say... a bad one. It was real... oh, what's the word... difficult! I really had to get... strong. I had to really *something* it out... I had to... WORK it out, yeah! That's what I meant. Life threw crap at me and I had to chew the fat, no matter how... hmm... not tender it was. I got beat up and beat down and life said "...no luck!" and threw more at me.

Point is, it's April of 2015 already and I still don't have any new music released except a few random songs. That's something I need to change.
And it's more than that. There's a LOT I need to change, and chances are, you do too. Not because you're not having a great life, but just because everyone needs change.
Problem is, change in a situation isn't always an option. Sometimes the only change you can make is in yourself. Sometimes, life stinks, and you just gotta get... TOUGH

Tough enough to be okay with feeling like butts about whatever is going wrong, Tough enough to get over that stupid stupid thing that's been bugging you for weeks even though IT DOES NOT MATTER, Tough enough to endure true hardship for the sake of those you love, and Tough enough to say "Hey, I have this art/talent/skill and I think it has enough value to be presented to the rest of the world"
I believe in you.

credits

released April 4, 2015

Music: Matthew "m@ the c@" Morden
www.bubblegum-octopus.com

Art: Christine April
christineapril.com

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Track Name: Pedal Beats Dream
[tacit]
Track Name: Every Fucking Face
Every face you see is hollow
Everyone who looks back at you
Just a husk with no real feelings
Just a place holder to make life full
No one here could care about you
No one here could ever hurt you
All alone when you're surrounded
All alone forever, but without peace

Everything is fake
Every face is painted on an empty skull
Everything is fake
Every mind is empty (stop, no control)
Every piece of cake
Every breath of air is just imaginary
Gulp down dreamt up drinks
Talk to your non-player family

How can I talk to anyone
Knowing that they will not not hear me
Shout into a blackened cavern
Reverberant discordance, bounce back to me
Shaking bewildered unnerving
Wondering why I complained before about being lonely
Overwhelm, placatory dreaming
Curious if there is anyone like me!

Everything is fake
Every friend you have is just a damn illusion
Everything is fake
No one here is real, it's just us
Humans: simply dolls
Crafted out of pieces of organic matter
Gods are scientists
Simply programmers making large computations
Track Name: Joyous Mist!!
I'm filled with feelings, feelings of happiness
It was encroaching, now the mist feels welcoming
A smile on my face, pasted there quite randomly
Obscuring nightmares, replace them with dreams
I look up and they're smiling down at me
Angels in lab coats with bone and teeth jewelry
I tell them nonsense in exchange for stories
Ones I will hear before I go to sleep
Oh, oh, this mist is joyous joyous
Oh, oh, this mist fills up my brain
Oh, oh, this mist cleans out our bad thoughts
Oh, oh, sublimate me
It takes my hand, running away from shit life and related feelings like sadness
Parting ways with my surroundings, bedim the offensive, fly away with me
All of time stops and I am breathing heaven
My life nods off before it goes to sleep
Tame my thoughts they let me focus feelings
Sad dudes are nothing but the past
Oh, oh, this mist is joyous joyous
Oh, oh, this mist fills up my brain
Oh, oh, this mist cleans out our bad thoughts
Oh, oh, sublimate me
Track Name: Flurries '08
[tacit]
Track Name: This is not Dead Time!
This is not dead time, throw me out of line, this is not dead t-
Fuck, yeah, dead time
This is not dead time
This is, this is, this is, this is
Fuck, yeah, dead time
Flopping on my door step
This is not dead time
Get back to water please
H2O right now!
Track Name: I'll Still Be Here
[tacit]
Track Name: -Tough-
Feel tough, be curious
Track Name: Special Moments
Sharing special moments with all of your friend(s)
Track Name: I'm going to roll you up and beat the shit out of you -The Final Roll-
Here it comes, gonna die. where's your god now?
Look out fool, time is now: failure to comply? NO
Please don't cry, I will laugh; way too funny
Close your eyes, sleep real tight: this is your end!

Imma roll ya up (an beat the shit outcha!)
Imma roll ya up (an beat the shit outcha bitch!)
Imma roll ya up (an beat the shit outcha!)
Imma roll ya up (gonna beatcho ass with a muthafuckin pimp cayne!)

Pillow fights, always through the night we do it
Stars and moons, baby (holding hands in sex positions)
Childhood memories feed my brain images
Happy thoughts, my dear (killing house pets for sadist pleasure)
Pillow fights, always through the night we do it
Stars and moons, baby (keep those hands in those positions)
Childhood memories feed my brain images
Happy thoughts my dear (now take it down a couple half steps)
Track Name: Soft Sun Spots
Soft sun spots
Things above are helping me by staying cool
Don't melt me, I don't want to be the same as some damn ice cube
She used to have such clean white teeth, what exactly happened?

I sit alone, I'm doing nothing
Talking to my friends, telling them that I've just been so god damn busy I haven't been free. No. Not. Never.
But in truth I have just been sitting, locked up in my room, staying awake
Asking the scientists, programmers, please just spare my life, I'm a copy

Will you wait? I'll show you
Just you wait. I'll feel you.

Drink coffee
Yes, I think I'm normal now
Play baseball
Yes, I think, I'm good enough
I'd take a break from watching people, never saying a thing

What you do now is as weak as lying
I know in fact that I'm not above crying

I sit alone, I'm doing nothing
Talking to my friends, telling them that I've just been so god damn busy I haven't been free. No. Not. Never.
I'm not alone, I'm never alone.
I'm not alone, I'm never alone.
Track Name: I'm Fractal
I'm a pattern, twisting infinitely
I'm repeating, revealed in the spiral's melting
Dripping into technicolor lightning
I'm a fragment of something that I know is greater

I'm fractal, don't despair
Dying just couldn't compare
I'm fractal don't despair
When the sun blows up I'm bound to remain here

Days are so fast, spinning planet blasting
Through the cosmos, faster than the greatest rocket
Grab a comet, break it with your fingers
Be delighted by the sounds below our human hearing

I'm fractal, don't despair
I'm but an endemic atom in a camera flash
I'm fractal don't despair
I feel beautiful with all of you in this infinite blip

So know us now, as we forge our own path embracing everything that we choose not to ignore
And it means much more than nothing, that we're all untitled somethings, and yet we all take it to heart to name ourselves
Don't get stuck in yourself, and don't serve only you
Build up from all the bleak
Take root where you believe
And spread the good word as we burst from the film

The soft light does burn things
Fret not friend, hold on to here
Track Name: Gold & Purple Gallows
[tacit]