The Album Formerly Known As "8​-​Legged Dance Moves"

by Bubblegum Octopus

supported by
lucidhalo thumbnail
lucidhalo One of my favorite albums of all time. I first heard this album in my freshman year of highschool, and I still listen to it now. Even my daughter loves this album. She even knows most of the words to "You're a bad cat man." Favorite track: No Advice.
Jordan Hart
Jordan Hart thumbnail
Jordan Hart This is such an amazing, pretty, ugly, insane record and I love it. Favorite track: God's Pink Laser.
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $8 USD  or more


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Wonderful 4 panel Digipak with art by Roxie Vizcarra

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Album Formerly Known As "8-Legged Dance Moves" via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days

      $10 USD or more 




Description edit, 2016
There's something I want to be understood about this album above everything else:

I don't care if you interpret these songs as stupid or silly. I understand why that's one of the common reactions to this and I don't want to invalidate that.
However, every song on this album was about and for my friends. This was my first chance to write music that felt meaningful and fulfilling. I wrote things the way I wanted to hear them, but I wrote things to reach out to the people I wanted to surround myself with. Every lyric, no matter how confusing, silly, or nonsensical, is a reference to someone real, to real experiences.
I wrote songs to cheer people up, I wrote songs to make people feel accepted, and I wrote songs to tell people I loved them.

What I'm saying is, for better or for worse, this music is completely honest. This is how my emotions, my influences, and my abilities manifested as an ultimate expression.

The one ideological artist statement I had at this time was that humor does not invalidate art, and that you can make jokes without being one. You can "take yourself seriously" without being humorless and fatalistic. High art and "artistic" music do not have to be met with crossed arms and scratched chins. Serious expression does not need be met on the terms of what aesthetics are already pre-approved.

Forge your own path, no matter how fucking stupid it is.


25 tracks of over-caffeinated, 16-bit video game style electronics, sugargrind freakouts, and cloudy joypop.
The album is comprised of songs written for the project between 2005 and 2006 (with two from 2007), and includes all the myspace player's greatest hits and the almost infamous "Soundclick Demo" songs.

The album's name is a reference to the inexplicable habit of people sharing the demo on P2P networks (with additional files ripped from the myspace player) compiling all the tracks and naming it "8-Legged Dance Moves (FULL ALBUM!!)"


To hear the songs often included in those downloads that were not actually part of this album, please go to the album: 8-Legged Dance Moves (2005 Demo)


released April 3, 2009

All lyrics and music written by Matthew "m@ the c@" Morden.

All vocals, instruments, programming, and other electronics performed by Matthew "m@ the c@" Morden.

All songs, lyrics, and performance(s) Copyright Matthew "m@ the c@" Morden 2009

The CD was mastered by Alex Saltz and the artwork was done by Roxie Vizcarra.



all rights reserved
Track Name: Life Story = Fire
my life story equals fire
that is lovely, pushed red button
do not miss it, black button's worse
it'll destroy you and your children
I have a pension for destruction
I like to throw things, like hand grenades
I watch things burn, it's so funny
get in my way, I'll cut you up
I am a violent person, I have destructive purpose
for entering the war game, their guns are empty but mine's loaded
who forgot to lock the dog gate, woops I let my hounds eat you
they gnaw at your broken bones and that's the last I see of you
go on get lost you old scum bag
privacy for host (I'm parasitic)
you live inside me (desires so angry)
is this whatchu wanna be? dead or bleeding?
loaded pistol in the hallway, empty cartridge in the basement
take a shot at ending my life
you are the fool, take my good knife
I raise my hands above me letting the gun show off
here comes the sun you bastard [I'm] not gonna see you, no
Track Name: Disco Party
welcome to the disco party
we don't want to drink a thing except for blood and vinegar
but we have some party games
like shoot him up and shoot him back and fuck his ass to death with lead
I never saw a game that one, but it sounds pretty god damn fun
I brought the beverages
what did I tell you about drinking in my house?
he said the food is good
if by food you mean the broken glass I'm shoving down your throat this evening,
I didn't know my house was party central

I'll make those shit rods pay for what they did to me, no one will leave this room alive.
what were you thinking?

Now I have the disco party, life is so good!
At least when you get to have the disco party yeah!
Track Name: Candy Store Looting Party
We came for the candy canes, eating gum balls, playing games
I love that oh what's his name
Take my hand and show me the way
swallowed up by evil spirits, riot in the candy store
In the window out the door, I won't laugh you stupid whore
sing that song to me again, I can't find that fucking hen
rawr, roar, growr

we hold hands with the powers of flames
will you embrace me? What's it cost to take me?
I solicit my affection. It's a rather rare event, tickets sold no money spent

I love you I pass no judgement
except for that godly hue, it fits for all the fire in you
when will we meet I'm determined
I cut you in fucking half, I will destroy your battle staff

what an unromantic note
I left you a damn misquote
can we please not play this game
now I’ve seen you, not the same

who are you, what angel dropped you
I won’t tell them, now I’ve got you
you’re all mine,
oh fuck this line
I have dreams but don’t have you
Track Name: I'll Beat You Up
I can beat you up you fool, don't try to test my limitations
look out here I come, I have a gun made of paper maché
I have the power of egyptian suns
I have shotguns in my coat, I shoot missiles from my toes
I killed a baby with a hatchet and it made me smile
With a sad face I take a look outside, I saw the sun and I saw your insides
I tried to go back but the time machine broke, looks like nothing will work tonight

Please spare me, what did I do to you?
I'm not that guilty, I'll beat you up!

I have no purpose and I have no direction: I'll take the initiative
I'll put your head down on the curbside and I'll begin to stomp.

The blood that spewed, the cracking noise: I crushed your skull like children's toys
I imagine that it hurt so much that you died then
I will put your face into the sun
Track Name: Spiders On My Toes
Spiders on my toes, eating up my toenails
spiders on my toes, painful and completely gross
spiders on my nose, they've moved through my body
spiders on my nose, nausea's what I'm going through
here they come again, hairy spider leggings
I just wanna run (meow meow meow)
Save me from this insanity, I just want them to let me be
Spiders in my clothes, eating up my good coat
Spiders in my clothes, great now I have to go shopping
Spiders on this rose, kill but cut my finger
and nobody knows about the things I had to say to make the spiders go away
Track Name: Story of The 8-bit Compy (Ver. 2)
I wanted on the 8-bit compilation
So I wrote a song that sounds like this
it's pretty cool, it's gameboy simulation
I never thought I'd make a song like this
This song is a story about itself and the reasons that it came about today, hooray
What's the fucking point of rhyming?
So here's my song for the CD
Take it and listen all you damn well please
I hope it's worth all of my effort, it took me about an hou
Track Name: Akm'Axl&Held
The forces of my oppression's victory
I would never have defeated Carcel's grand army
escape an inevitable fate involving my own death in vain
Escape!/In vain!
Alone with no cause now we gained victory. 3 - 2 - 1
Track Name: Eating The Not-So-Yummy Pie of Sadness
I pledge my allegiance to you, for you I'd be nailed to the cross
But here you are playing games with me and ripping apart my heart
We never seem to see eye to eye and that's not an asian joke
The games we've shared and the puyos we've matched
[are] enough to make a grown man cry
I might visit your house if you make sure that this girl michelle comes
She'll be happy and I'll cry, and then you'll see that I'm a baby

Well that's fine I guess I don't care, I'll just play melee alone...
but DDR and Guilty Gear will never be fun without you
Track Name: God's Pink Laser
The stars, the sun, and the moon
the places you left me alone
with god and his (his great pink laser)
like a movie you'll come to me smiling widely
our hearts guiding to each other more than ever
I had the nerve to ask you for your deep compassion
I should just die rather than cry, my brain's empty can't you see me?
Can't believe this happened like this...
this is no life for one like me to live alone
Stars are falling and the big rays shoot from his gun and hit the sun
the lord almighty's chasing me his true wrath's yet to be seen
I just have to get away until it is day
The moon gives away my hiding place and then god gets all angry
you should have never let me go,
it's about time that you show how much you care about me
why can't I be?

When I saw you I just knew that there was no other one for me to love and breath
I'll never be seen, take mine and leave, all his pink beams
Track Name: Assplosions Over Hyperdeath
We rocked in here with our metal cocks out, we burnt the Christians down
we showed up with white corpse paint and showed them how it's done

I'm so metal, it's so absurd. How does one like me coexist with you?

I open a cow now, I do it on the stage to prove it: my krieg yeah
I put a bullet in my face
Track Name: Mermaid Song
From the water she gives birth to the queen of mermaids
I don't doubt you but for her to say she understands [is a lie]

She's at the stake, burning magic

Dying for the cause of her child, now we see that life is not fair
Track Name: Cat Machine!
we are in the cat machine, we are in it, it's so clean!
We are in the cat machine
we are in the cat machine, we are in it it's so clean!
we are in the cat machine, it's really good
Track Name: meow flute
The kitten plays a happy jig on his flute
but the notes are violent they cause HP loss to us
running from the death ray makes this look like a piece of cake
I never heard such awful sounds they pierce brains and tear out souls
magic songs that the damned composed

I had to run from the green notes that obliterate
tear holes in the ozone, rupture brains and corporates
he played another round of angry melodies
the ground had just begun to shake and my team was massacred
nothing saved them from the words

but I have brought the power of the antient gods
winds and darkness focus in my hands
energy forces out of me and tears through the lepecat
I have brought the pain now, sees how things have turned out
I should get going
cat is defeated, life is so gleeing
see that puss in hell now
I am gone until I die, dont let this shit make you cry
yeah! yeah! yeah yeah yeah!!
Track Name: Great Beard; Happy Mustache
and when I'm driving in my car your truck plows right through the red light
but when you get out I know that it will all be okay
because you've got a mustache and it is happy, so am I

My car is fucked, but I don't seem to care cuz you've got a nice beard

Your facial hair is so damn nice, your follicles call out to me
and as I walk from the scene he turns around and looks at me
he smiles and winks and I am so god damn happy, so is he
Track Name: Meredith's Village
Meredith is so silly, she thinks that we hate her but that's so not the case
She just must be totally crazy
I don't know why she thinks that
so I wrote this song for her to hear and maybe then she'll think believe that we think well of her, bad feelings are not for her

Now that we get to the dancier part I hope my evil vocals don't rip the song apart
If you were inside my head right now you'd plainly see
That it's the only thing that fits and Meredith brings us glee

Not to get monotonous, but I think that I must repeat the fact that you're loveded
Shit that isn't even a word
I really better shut up now before I kill the moment I have made with this song
I'll see you all next time... or not
Track Name: Erin Battle
Erin Battle, can you play now?
Erin Battle, can you fight me in the game please?
Erin Battle, don't be a fool
I know I'll win, but that's cuz I'm fucking cool yeah
Why won't you play me in any video games?
I've never met a soul afraid of the things I do, at least not with a controller (oh no)
Silly Erin, this is a game
Silly Erin, have you seen my Pokémons yet?
Silly Erin, this mini-game
Doesn't count no, doesn't prove a damn thing no
I give you a controller because it is time to play the game
Would you please push some buttons?
I sit in the corner, bored out of my damn mind
Just play me some damn Pokémon!
Track Name: Falcon Breeze
We must dance to beat of the moon
Old black sunlight cascades all night
[ex]tend your finger, this is your ring
It's a promise for our lives

you help me, you love me: my past is broken
you mean it, we've meant it (touch the cold air)
and now we're together.
These interactions, it's sick but they are all made by machines

For many years now, I've been between the things I loved.
The eye in which you're beautiful, a smile to modify the world


When you left my hand I broke down
Your grip kept me from that dark place
You're the flashlight in my dungeon
You bring those thing's my life's missing

The falcons come and eat me, taking my organs
They pity me so they make this whole thing go fast

Cuddle, hold hands, kiss me, fuck me
These words have just lost all meaning
I once had you, now I've lost you
Typical end to my story
Track Name: Paper Punch Out Dreams
You told me that your dreams were real you liar
But you said to me one day, you'll be such a star
Ideas inside my head will never bloom because of things I do to myself
I will fade away for now, forever now, don't try to find me, I won't be here
I will die one day and come back to this earth and I will try hard

hopelessness and crying
still semen in my hair
I live with these
I live to please
I feel the end is near
something clicks
as your tounge licks
I surely feel despair
things were just much better
way before you came here
Track Name: You're A Bad Cat Man
You're a bad cat man, you're a bad cat man yes you are!
You're so bad I hope you die
You are so bad, you are so bad, you are so bad
I hate you so much I hope you die
You're a bad cat man, how did you get out of your cage?
You're a bad cat man, I will punch you in the face

We have rules that I hope you follow (if you don't I'll cut you up)
I have friends that have fur and fangs yeah (they'll bite off your ugly head)

Now this battle is a storm, absorbing flames of butterflies
I make your flesh warm
Birds will sing the dirge now of absolute defeat
The second evil cat has fallen, dogs consume your meat
Track Name: Slow Life
Why are you so gosh darn impatient?
Why don't we sit and let the day go?
Here we are wasting our lives away, working is a sacrifice
Life is good, don't let it escape you, don't waste time
Always something to do
Don't you think maybe rest is needed?
Take a break and sit yourself down
Lie (silly man)
Down (not the ground)
Or (happy face)
Drown (no work, play)
You never let yourself relax
Two day vacations are a pain you ass
I hope that you finally see
That all the things I have to do are lame/no
Here's the end, I hope you enjoyed it even though I am not a beatnik
So goodbye, at least until next time
Track Name: Storm of Envy
Whenever I see all the good things that you do my jealousy will take over my
thoughts and actions, over rule my passions.
Now I will incarcerate before you are something great
And I condemn you, a lifetime in my prison, where no one will ever talk to you
Now you know how I feel: second to your everything
Hang your head in shame for your unfixable crimes

But like any hero I shall overcome and then end all the chaos that you have made.
But my biggest problem here is that I am the evil one in all of the public eye
Now I change misconceptions

What did I tell you?
Have you now learned your lesson?
Did you learn that in books good will win?
It's not just entertaining, it's triumph seems uplifting
These are the concepts living beneath

and so my brother, it seems we're not so different, jealousy is just overwhelming.
Track Name: Neighbors Do Bad Things
Sleeping alone and cold for nights on end.
You toss and turn and wonder why no one will share this comfortable mattress with you.
You leave so much space under the covers that it shocks you that the only thing that you ever sleep with is an empty pillow.
The pillowcase is so clean too...
Why doesnt someone just lie down? It's even cold on both sides, but yet so warm and fluffy here all the time.
Such high expectations come at such high risk though.
Burning desires in the painful confines of your lonely bedroom, dont tell me you’d let the knife be the one to understand the struggle you endure.
Don't become that human disaster, I don't want to see you like that.
Face down in dirt, mourning at the grave of your hopes and dreams.. a childhood massacre.. blood on the thoughts of my innocence... so pathetic.
I let it all get the best of me and now I am weak. pathetic... nothing. nothing at all.

Dearest teddy bear,
fuck you, fuck me.
Why did you have to mess with my dreams, I told you to stay in your room, dont lie, dont give me that, I know you heard me the first time.
I dont need to say it again for you to understand.

Stay the fuck away, don't come near me, get in your closet let me be
Track Name: No Advice
No advice
And they will never know about the things we do in private.
And they will never understand.
I do it [because] I think you're beautiful
We were so perfect.
No one ever asked us a question [because] they knew this was permanent.